8 Signs You’re The Mother of Small Children

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There are some moments where I take stock of my life and think, ” Yup, I’m a mom of two very small children.” Perhaps you only have one child, perhaps you have more than two very small children, but to some extent all moms can relate to these. Here they are in no particular order,  enjoy!

1.  You base your wardrobe around what you can wear while minimizing the risk of flashing people. Whether it’s nursing, bending down to pick someone up, or having a child tug your clothing on any given day it’s possible someone will see way more than you intended, but there’s no harm in trying to minimize the amount of skin shown in these unintentional peep shows.

2. You vaguely remember wishing you had bigger boobs from your pre-nursing days. Now you wonder why you ever wished for them… they really do make your back hurt and finding a properly fitted bra is impossible. You also have empathy for that one friend who’s boobs you’ve always envied because hers will be/ are out of control huge when she’s nursing.

3. You’re sense of modesty is non-existent. I remember with my oldest I was very uncomfortable nursing in public. In fact, for the first 2 1/2 months of his life if I was going out I pumped milk to take with me. More power to you if you have the commitment to do this! I very quickly realized it was NOT going to work for me, and learned to nurse in baby carriers while covering myself. Fast-forward to baby #2, and there are no such concerns. The fact of the matter is that my youngest son has to eat, and I have an on the move toddler. It’s not so much a choice to not be discreet when I nurse as it is a choice to not let my other child run into traffic. Sorry not sorry, I feel the silly need to take care of both of my children and sometimes that means showing a little more skin than I intended or than the dad at the park might be comfortable with…

4. Your sense of hygiene doesn’t align with societal norms.  I remember fondly the days when leaving the house freshly showered, hair done, make-up and in stain free clothes was non-negotiable. These days my BFF is dry shampoo, my hair spends way more time in a ponytail or bun than it does down, and if I have mascara on it’s been an unusually good morning. As for clean clothes, there’s a good chance that I’m sporting someone’s breakfast on an item of my clothing, but if I don’t notice it before we load up it’s going to be there all day. That’s not even touching on the fact that if it can be wiped off with a diaper wipe that counts as good to go.

5. You know an OBSCENE number of children’s songs and you find yourself humming or  singing them even when you’re alone. Enough said on this one, right?

6. You no longer need 8 hours of sleep to be functional. In fact, you no longer remember what 8 hours of sleep looks like. Somehow 6 became the new 8, and 4 became the new 6.

7. People ask if your children are twins or triplets. Even though my kids are at very different levels of speech and mobility people can’t help but assume they’re twins when they see a double stroller.

8. You get more smiles and snuggles daily than anyone deserves. This is the best part, the part that makes everything else inconsequential in the long run.

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