Your Brother is Not a Horse (and other younger sibling problems)

Things I would have freaked out about with my first child, exhibit A. A toddler hugging them. It’s OK though, A loves his brother’s hugs.

I remember when J was 6 moths old I legitimately almost unfriended some one (in real life, not in FB land) when their son pushed him twice during a play date. I almost had a panic attack when  a friend tossed him a few inches in the air. I threw out a pacifier because another child had used it. Perhaps best of all, I thought I had given him shaken baby syndrome from driving down a gravel road. Yeah, I’ll admit it, I was crazy  CRAZY  bat shit insane. Fast forward to baby number 2, and the standards have DEFINITELY changed.

Poor A, being the second baby is definitely both a blessing and a curse. On the plus side, the hubs and I are “well seasoned” parents. We know how to cope with a crying baby, we know how to cope with a sleepy baby. We learned through trial and error with J, and now know several pitfalls we’d like to avoid this time. Like, for example, allowing J to sleep with us until he was 10 months old. And by with us, I really mean ON us. J didn’t sleep outside of someone’s arms regularly until he was 10 months old.

Also on the plus side, I’m a lot more relaxed which means A is a lot more relaxed. I’m telling you, this kid is the happiest, most relaxed baby ever. He is so content to play by himself or with others, to be held or to explore the floor on his own. Part of this is most certainly his personality, but I think our attitudes towards him have reinforced it.

Yes, there are lots of plusses to being the younger child but there are some undeniable downsides as well. You are subject to being your older siblings “living doll,” or in our case horsey. J will pet A, try to feed hum carrots, and even try to ride him if he’s laying on the floor. This leads to a lot of repeating of, “that’s not safe, I won’t let you ride A like a horsey,” and other variations of that phrasing.

There’s also the issue of having your things frequently taken. I know we will soon outgrow this phase and soon A will be taking J’s things just as frequently, but right now poor kid gets things snatched away from him left and right. To both of their credit, A doesn’t generally very upset by it and J will give him another toy be deems more “suitable.” This leads to a lot of my husband and I saying, “I won’t key you take tykes from your brother, it’s not kind,” and the like.

It’s tough being a younger sibling. You’re likely to get stepped on, manipulated and bossed around. There are a lot more times where A gets nearly waterboarded during bath time/ suffocated by hugs/ crushed during sbuggling than I ever thougt I’d tolerate. It comes with the territory of being the youngest in my opinion. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t let J beat up on A, but at the same time I don’t want him go be afraid to interact with him and since he’s a toddler that sometimes doesn’t go perfectly.

But on the plus side A has a co-conspirator, someone to enjoy all of the mischief of childhood with and to point the finger at when the hubby and I ask who’s idea it was. And let’s face it in those situations it’s always the oldest fault, and J will take the lion’s share of the blame, which makes being a younger sibling a pretty sweet gig.

8 Signs You’re The Mother of Small Children

There are some moments where I take stock of my life and think, ” Yup, I’m a mom of two very small children.” Perhaps you only have one child, perhaps you have more than two very small children, but to some extent all moms can relate to these. Here they are in no particular order,  enjoy!

1.  You base your wardrobe around what you can wear while minimizing the risk of flashing people. Whether it’s nursing, bending down to pick someone up, or having a child tug your clothing on any given day it’s possible someone will see way more than you intended, but there’s no harm in trying to minimize the amount of skin shown in these unintentional peep shows.

2. You vaguely remember wishing you had bigger boobs from your pre-nursing days. Now you wonder why you ever wished for them… they really do make your back hurt and finding a properly fitted bra is impossible. You also have empathy for that one friend who’s boobs you’ve always envied because hers will be/ are out of control huge when she’s nursing.

3. You’re sense of modesty is non-existent. I remember with my oldest I was very uncomfortable nursing in public. In fact, for the first 2 1/2 months of his life if I was going out I pumped milk to take with me. More power to you if you have the commitment to do this! I very quickly realized it was NOT going to work for me, and learned to nurse in baby carriers while covering myself. Fast-forward to baby #2, and there are no such concerns. The fact of the matter is that my youngest son has to eat, and I have an on the move toddler. It’s not so much a choice to not be discreet when I nurse as it is a choice to not let my other child run into traffic. Sorry not sorry, I feel the silly need to take care of both of my children and sometimes that means showing a little more skin than I intended or than the dad at the park might be comfortable with…

4. Your sense of hygiene doesn’t align with societal norms.  I remember fondly the days when leaving the house freshly showered, hair done, make-up and in stain free clothes was non-negotiable. These days my BFF is dry shampoo, my hair spends way more time in a ponytail or bun than it does down, and if I have mascara on it’s been an unusually good morning. As for clean clothes, there’s a good chance that I’m sporting someone’s breakfast on an item of my clothing, but if I don’t notice it before we load up it’s going to be there all day. That’s not even touching on the fact that if it can be wiped off with a diaper wipe that counts as good to go.

5. You know an OBSCENE number of children’s songs and you find yourself humming or  singing them even when you’re alone. Enough said on this one, right?

6. You no longer need 8 hours of sleep to be functional. In fact, you no longer remember what 8 hours of sleep looks like. Somehow 6 became the new 8, and 4 became the new 6.

7. People ask if your children are twins or triplets. Even though my kids are at very different levels of speech and mobility people can’t help but assume they’re twins when they see a double stroller.

8. You get more smiles and snuggles daily than anyone deserves. This is the best part, the part that makes everything else inconsequential in the long run.